Everything I could never say
by Sophiacharlotte
Summary: Two fatalities in the five car pile up, and one of the cars was Carol's. Sometimes you don't know what you have until you may loose it. Caryl AU non za.
1. Chapter 1

AN: ughhhhh why do I write new things when I have old things to finish? I promise this will not be long. Second chapter may already be done sitting in my docs;) let me know if you like and want second chapter tonight . 2-3 chapter

I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead

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Mornings were always the best times for Daryl at the shop. It was quiet, there was time to think. Most people seemed to drop their cars off at the end of the day, mornings were time to work, free from the hustle of the bell in the front off continually jingling.

Dixon's was a full service garage. Everything from oil changes to body work and painting. He and Merle had made sure to offer as many services as possible. They were always expanding, always trying to keep their customers loyal and wanting to come back.

Daryl some days had trouble believing that his life, his life could take such a drastic turn. Ten years ago he'd been going nowhere in his life. Angry and surly, he'd followed Merle into whatever scheme Merle cooked up next. Ending up more than once in jail.

He hadn't thought he'd deserved to be happy. His fucked up childhood had left more than scars than could be seen on his back. Life had never once showed him that anyone or anybody could care. Until he met her. His neighbour Carol.

She had moved in next to him and Merle. In a shitty run down apartment complex. He was instantly drawn to her. Somehow in her eyes, he could see that they were two of a kind. Both damaged, both hurting in more ways than they could show.

She'd quietly gone about her business in the apartment complex. Always keeping her head down, seemingly lost in her own thoughts and pain. Until that one fateful day.

He'd headed out to the parking lot to go buy Merle some booze, when he had seen her, or heard her. Softly crying her head was pressed to the steering wheel as she desperately tried to start her car. He'd thought about walking away, taken a few steps in the opposite direction. But there was something about the way she had been softly crying. The sound of her tears and pain did something funny to him, made his heart hurt.

"Ya need some help?" His voice came out as a hoarse whisper. He felt skittish, worried she would run away in fear at the sight of him.

Time seemed to stand still, she held her head on the steering wheel for a moment longer before lifting it up and she smiled at him. His breath caught in his throat. It was like he had been in the dark, and suddenly the sun came out.

"Thank you. That would be amazing. I'm late for class." She said. Her face was practically filled with adoration that he'd simply asked her if she needed help. She didn't seem scared or put off by him at all. He'd started her car. Nothing serious wrong with it, but she'd looked at him like he hung the moon. He'd watched her drive of wondering if he would ever feel the feelings she seemed to overwhelm him with.

She'd shown up at his door with cookies that night, he started carrying her groceries for her wheAn he saw her struggling with them on the walkway.

She started inviting him and Merle over for supper. One night Merle had gotten particularly quiet while he'd listened to her story. Her husband Ed had been an addict, he'd beaten her when she was pregnant. She'd lost the baby. Ed had killed himself rather than going to jail. Merle had checked himself into rehab the next day. From that moment on Merle had deemed himself Carol's honorary big brother. To Daryl she was the first, the only best friend he ever had. He was humbled and inspired by her determination to make her life better. At twenty five she was going back to school to become a nurse. She was trying to put her past behind her.

When Merle got out of rehab the two of them went back to school. They gotten jobs working at a shop putting money aside to open their own.

Carol had shown up at their door one night with a cheque for twenty thousand dollars. She hadn't wanted to use the money from her husband's life insurance on herself. She said it had been sitting in her account earning interest as she tried to figure out what to do with it. She used just enough to put herself through school and she was graduating soon. She wanted to invest, in them.

Daryl had been shocked. Spell bound. "You would trust us with your money?" He'd asked.

She had smiled tentatively leaning in to hug him."of course I would, your the best man I know." She said simply.

The business had grown. Merle had taken him to see a small duplex. They'd gone through one side when the realtor had lead them to the other. "Wait he asked Merle, you wanna take both places?" He'd asked.

"Well what the hell Daryl we ain't leaving Carol by herself at that shithole apartment building. She ain't gotta know how much the rent is. We'll subsidize it for her. Unless your actually gonna man up and move in with her." Merle had said.

He'd blushed muttering they were just friends. They taken her to the duplex that night. Shown her where they were moving. She'd seemed so sad it almost broke his heart. They marched her to the other side, smiling at her confusion when they showed her "her side".

"Didn't think we would leave you behind did ya?" He'd whispered when Merle had answered his phone. She'd flown into his arms, burying her face in his neck.

He'd never had that. He hated to be touched, but he didn't mind her touching him. In fact he was down right touchy freely when it came to Carol.

It was nothing for him, to put his arms around her now. To lay his head down on her lap when they watched a movie. They were friends. That's what friends did.

He was attracted to her, sure. He'd have to be blind not to be attracted. He spent many an uncomfortable night as she was curled next to him on her couch. Hoping that she couldn't feel the fact he was as hard as a rock.

The fact was she was too good for him. She was like an angel that he kept on a pedestal. He couldn't live without her in his life. He couldn't go back to being in the dark. He needed her smiles to breathe. They were friends, she was his best friend. The only one he had ever had. He didn't just care for her, he felt a connection to her he never had with anyone. He adored her, every moment he spent with her was like Christmas morning. He spent a lot of time thinking about it, wondering what word, would actually describe how he felt. He wasn't sure but he knew he would die for her. She had sneaked her way into places in his heart he hadn't been sure existed. He needed her.

He lived in fear of the day, that some guy would come along and take her away, but it never happened. She was thirty five, a year older than his thirty four. Still living next to him and Merle, working as nurse. The day still seemed a little darker until he saw her beautiful face.

He hadn't seen her this morning. He usually stopped to talk to her before heading to work. She was working a day shift at the hospital, and she had mentioned she was going to head in early an errand to run first thing. He missed her, he hadn't seen her since the night before.

Merle was out on a run with the two truck with their new apprentice Glenn. A five car pile up on the highway, a long haul truck had crossed the median it's driver had fallen asleep.

It was to quiet, that's whAt he'd been thinking when Merle extremely pale had come barreling into the shop.

"That was quick." He muttered not looking up from what he was doing.

"Daryl.." He looked up sharply at Merle's voice. Merle sounded as though he was close to tears.

"What's wrong?" He asked sharply,

"That accident...the one on the highway...two fatalities...the names not released yet...they wouldn't tell me there names god dammit..." Merle was hyperventilating.

"Merle!" He yelled as a feeling of dread creeped up on him.

Merle looked up, like he might be sick when he spoke.

"One of the cars in the pile up was Carol's."

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	2. Chapter 2

AN: ok, this will be three chapters :) next chapter smut ;)

I do not own or profit fromThe walking dead

Chapter 2

"Breathe Daryl, Breathe." Glenn was at his side, he was leaning over the large garbage can in the work bay, retching. He hadn't eaten this morning otherwise he was sure his stomach contents would be making a second appearance.

One of the cars was Carol's. Two fatalities.

He looked up to see Merle hyperventilating into a brown paper bag that Glenn had produced from somewhere.

"Guys...calm, you don't know yet. Come on. I'll drive you to the hospital. Neither of you are driving." Glenn said grabbing his keys behind the desk.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The car was silent. No one speaking as they slowly made their way to the hospital. When Merle suddenly croaked from the backseat "If she survives this, you better tell her how you feel, she deserves to know."

"Merle" he started.

"Don't fucking Merle me. She loves you. You love her. You really think she just has no interest in dating because of that mess all those years ago? She doesn't cause none of them assholes trying to catch her eye are you. Get your head out of your ass baby brother. You love her." Merle huffed.

It was as though the ground suddenly was pulled out from underneath him and he was tumbling through space. That's what this was. Love. He loved her.

His breathing seemed to increase again at the thought of loosing her when his dumb as fuck self only just figured it out. He loved her. What the hell was the matter with him? He turned away so Glenn wouldn't see the lone tear that trickled down his face.

"Totally okay to cry dude if you gotta." Glenn said.

He never answered.

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"Carol...Carol Pelletier? She godamn works here." Merle was arguing with the clerk at the desk of the emergency room.

"Are you family?" The clerk said checking his computer.

"Godamn it yes!" Merle roared.

"Ok sir, no need to get testy. Room 2."

Daryl was already running down the hall. Looking around wildly, frantically for a flashing sign that said room two. A nurse took pity on him. "Who are you looking for Hun?" She asked.

He bent at the waist gasping, ready to hyperventilate again.

"Carol.." He couldn't finish. He couldn't breathe.

"Carol Pelletier?" She murmured as Glenn and Merle caught up to him and he nodded.

"Right in here sweetie" she said motioning to the door behind him. He barrels through the door.

He didn't expect to see her awake. Lying on a stretcher, her leg obviously broken, in a cast. Her eyes were surprised to see him.

As he stood gaping.

"Daryl I was trying to call you..."

He ran towards her. Suddenly dropping his head in her lap, careful as though she was fragile glass, so as not to hurt her leg.

His head in her lap, he let himself go. Shedding silent tears. Thanking God and any other possible entity that had kept her safe. His shoulders shook silently as her fingers threaded threw his hair softly. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head, his arms wound around her waist, holding her tightly.

He could hear her talking to Merle, her fingers trailing down to his back rubbing soft circles. He didn't care. He may never let her go again. He could breath again, and the sun had come out.

Xxxxxxx


	3. Chapter 3

AN: ok so I lied sorry. Stretching this out a little. Maybe 5 chapters, this is not smut ;$ sorry but I hope you like it anyway.

I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead

Chapter 3

Her leg was broken below the knee, and she had a concussion along with some scrapes and bruises. All in all the doctor called her lucky, as Daryl sat perched on the edge of the hospital stretcher her hand grasped tightly in his; he knew she wasn't lucky. She was a miracle.

They had needed the jaws of life to get her out of her car. She had been stuck for over an hour. When he thought about Carol stuck in that car, alone and in pain...it made his chest hurt. He squeezed her hand even more tightly. He saw the slight upturn of her lips to a smile as she listened intently to the doctors instruction.

"She shouldn't be left alone.."

"She won't be" he interjected quickly and she smiled at him again.

"Well" the doctor said "You're free to go,"

Daryl hoped off the stretcher, surprising Carol as he picked her up bridal style. She wound her arms around his neck.

"I can get you a wheelchair. " the doctor muttered.

"It's alright. I got her. She weighs next to nothing. My brother is pulling up the car." He said staring only at her, as she looked up at him.

He was walking down the hall when she nestled her head into his shoulder with a sigh of contentment. He saw the raised eyebrows and the smiles of some of the people who they met in the hallway. He couldn't care less. He needed her close.

"This ain't pulling on your leg is it?" He muttered.

"No, it's perfect."

Merle and Daryl got her settled into the car. Her hand reached across the seat to Daryl as Merle pulled out into traffic. Daryl grasped it tightly in his hand.n

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He refused Merle's offer to carry her inside. Merle had muttered he would head back to the shop after giving him a pointed look. He'd nodded.

They had cut her nurses scrubs to shorts at the hospital, she was still wearing them and a hospital scrub top.

"You wanna clean up?" He asked softly kicking off his boots as he carried her into the house.

"Yes please." She moaned softly. He took her to her bathroom, suddenly awkward at what he should do.

"Can you sit me down?" She whispered blushing.

The toilet seat was down so he set her on it softly.

"There's soap in the shower."

He got the soap from the shower. The one she always used that smelled like her. He urged himself to calm down. To remember what he was doing.

Filling the sink basin with warm soapy water, he looked over at her struggling to get her scrub top up.

He went over and stilled her fingers. Grabbing the hem of shirt he held her gaze, sliding the top up her body and over her head. His fingers trailing along the smooth sides of her body. He saw her skin break out in fine goosebumps.

"Ahh baby." He whispered tenderly when he saw the scrapes and bruises across her chest. The seat belt impression was already starting to bruise badly. The endearment had slipped out he couldn't help it. She smiled at him tenderly.

"You'll have to help me, everything hurts." She whispered.

If his heart could break right then it would have literally fallen out of his chest into pieces on the floor. He wanted nothing to hurt for her. He wanted only to take care of her. Taking the warm wet cloth he started washing her stomach and shoulders around the sports bra she still wore.

She flushed brightly then looking into his eyes. "I need to get this bra off but it's too tight. My shoulders are so stiff I don't know if I can lift my arms up that high." She said embarrased.

He thought for a moment then got the small pocket knife out of his pocket. He kept his eyes on her face as he slowly cut the straps then pulled a towel across her chest. Reaching under the towel he reached and pulled the bra down to her belly. He saw her chest heaved and her chest shudder.

"Did I hurt you?" He whispered as made one last cut on the bra so it fell away from her.

"No, you didn't" she said softly.

He leaned down and washed her other leg, his hand slowly making his way up her beautiful thigh. He heard her breath hitch again.

He got a new cloth and started to tenderly wash her face. She put her hand up to touch his wrist. "Daryl.."

"We'll talk, I promise. I almost lost you today." He paused when his voice cracked. Breaking. "Let me take care of you, ok baby?" He briefly brought his face down to her neck and inhaled her scent. She simply nodded.

"There's a robe, on the hook in the closet." She whiskpered a few minutes later. He nodded grabbing it. He had never seen it before. It was short, a vibrant blue silk.

Pulling it around her shoulders she dropped her towel once she was covered.

"Can you help me take these shorts off?"

Lifting her up, he steadied her body as she held the towel rack. Shivering he slid his hands under her robe, untying the draw string. He had slipped his hands into the waistband when she whispered "Panties too."

He groaned softly, doing as she asked. Then sweeping her up into his arms depositing her into her bed.

He knelt down beside her bed, brushing the hair away from her face. Marvelling that she was here, that he could touch her. She smiled up at him, her eyes starting to droop at his tender strokes of her hair.

"Stay with me?" She said softly. He nodded slipping into bed beside her. Arm sliding across her stomach holding her close.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: last chapter sorry for the wait.

I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead

Chapter 4

"I'm gonna turn your room into a games room..alright?"

Daryl stood at the door barely awake dishelved and barefoot glaring at Merle who was standing in Carol's door with a smirk on his face.

"Merle, it's only been a week, she needs me here to help her..." Daryl started but stopped when Merle interrupted him.

"Did you tell her yet? I bet you ain't said nothing. Well you ain't getting your room back. So you better let her know how ya feel." Merle said. "I gotta go, pool table is being delivered at nine." He turned to go.

Daryl groaned in frustration "She knows...I'll tell her. I ain't wanting to push her. After everything she has been through..."

"Nawwhh you're just scared." Merle said folding his arms.

"Fuck off Merle." He muttered.

"Nope, don't fuck off Merle me. I've been watching this song and dance for years now. Get your ass in gear and go tell her. I swear to fucking god if you put this thing off any longer I'll do something drastic, now go on up and tell her. I'll wait here." Merle stomped in and headed over to the coffe pot grabbing one of the refillable portable coffee mugs that Carol kept at her house to send with him and Daryl to work. It was nothing for Carol on a day off to head over to their house with coffee and breakfast. She knew the two of them would probably skip breakfast otherwise.

"Would you get the hell out of here. You're gonna wake her up and I definetly ain't doing nothing with you down here." Daryl said grabbing Merle and pushing him toward the door.

"I don't believe you that you will. I swear I'm gonna have to do it for you. Fuck...that's what I'm gonna do." Merle escaped Daryl's grasp and sidestepped around him heading toward the door to the living room and stairs.

"Fuck off I said I'll do it, and I will. I promise alright. I can't wait anymore...I know that." Daryl said sincerely.

Merle stared at him intently then nodded heading towards the door. "Alright, just remember we share a wall...I want to hear ya'll going at it in the near future."

"Fuck off"

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She was asleep, on her back in the middle of the bed, she hadn't moved . He'd gotten up to answer the door bell when Merle had made his early morning arrival.

He sat down at the side of the bed, staring at her as she slept. A week had passed since that day. A week since he'd almost lost...everything.

He'd spent the week at her house. He'd tried to go to work, three days after the accident, he really had, he'd been an hour into his day, and it had hit him. The panic, the fear.

She had told him she would be okay, she could manage for a few hours on her own while he helped Merle get caught up with some work.

But A paralyzing fear had hit him. She was alone, what if she needed him, what if something happened to her while he was gone? She would never know. She would never know how he really felt.

So he'd rushed home, the only home he'd ever really known, Carol. He hadn't left her since.

He slept, wrapped around her, hjolding her in his arms. She hadn't questioned him on it after that first night.

He'd spend the night with his face in her neck, thanking God or JC or whoever all over again for not taking her away.

She wasn't sleeping well, the pain that came with whiplash bothering her more than her leg.

He'd awoken two nights ago, with her bag to his front, she'd been breathing heavily with tears trailing down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" He'd whispered hoarsely nipping softly at her neck. They hadn't "talked" but she never seemed surprised or minded his touch. He loved her neck. Her long beautiful neck. He had a hard time to be near without wanting to touch her, or have the sweet taste of her skin on his lips.

"My back" she whispered, "I'm sorry I woke you." She said quickly whipping her cheeks.

"Roll over" he whispered.

They'd discovered by accident that when she lay on her stomach she was actually quite comfortable.

He helped her to roll on to her stomach. She had a very loose, one of his shirts on to sleep in.

"Can you undo your shirt?" He'd asked.

It was like a sleepy dream. The light shinning into the window seemed to make her skin glow. He watched as she slid her hand under her body to open her buttons.

Her breath inhaled sharply as he reached up and slid the shirt down her arms. He could see small trails of gooseflesh in the moonlight as inch by inch more of her beautiful skin was revealed. He pulled her shirt down and off until she lying on her stomach, in only a pair of shorts.

Her arms crossed under her head, her cheek pressed to her hand, she stared back at him. Trusting him. Waiting to see where he was going.

Daryl felt a lump in his throat wondering again how, why she had this faith in him. This implicit trust. She saw him. Lowering his fingers to her back, he'd begun kneading the muscles of her back. Starting in the middle.

She let out a soft moan, closing her eyes. He'd become enthralled by what he was doing. Fascinated by her skin, her feel. Her scent.

His hands slid slowly over her back, messaging and kneeling as he felt her body gradually relax slipping into almost a state of molten relax.

"Oh Daryl" she whispered. "That feels so good." She said sleepily.

His blood caught fire as his hands started to move down her back running his fingers under the waistband of her shorts. His fingers trailing down even lower, running along the soft skin of her ass, then up, her sides, both hands moving along the tender flesh above her ribs so sensitive after her recent injuries. His fingers ghosted up to the side of her breasts, as he leaned down to press a kiss to her neck.

"I love you" he whispered, and was rewarded with a soft snore. Chuckling he pressed his forehead to her shoulder and left her to her much needed sleep.

It was the closest he had come to telling her the truth.

He sat on the side of the bed, watching her as the sun shone in on her face. Brushing her hair away from her face, he smiled and watched her. Waiting for her to stir herself awake. She was feeling better, but sleep was still a precious commodity. He wouldn't wake her. Her hand in his lap, he smiled as her eyelids fluttered up.

She smiled at him, that smile. The one that was his. The one that reflected the way she felt in her eyes. It struck him speechless. It was probably the same way he looked at her.

He leaned down and pressed his lips softly on hers. Her fingers came up and wrapped around his neck one hand threading through his hair.

It was everything he'd imagined and more. It was a feeling of complete and utter happiness. It was home.

I'm His lips found her neck, almost frantic now to see her body, he helped her reach the hem of the t shirt she was wearing and pull it up and over her head. She was naked underneath.

A dull roar seem to reverberate in

His ears. He could sit there and stare at her forever even with bruises that still littered her skin, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his entire life.

He trailed his hand up the soft flesh of her abdomen, imagining it rounded with a baby. He wanted that. He wanted it all with her. She tilted her head back a near silent moan slipping past her lips as she watched him. Her hands coming up to rest on her pillow above her head.

It was the the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Carol lying in the bed, totally comfortable in the fact she was naked watching him as he touched her. Her back arching as she leaned into his touch. He cupped her breast, rolling the nipple between his fingers. Loving the short little gasps she released as she panted softly. His hand drifted down lower. His fingers slipped between her legs, watching as her back arched of the bed as his fingers slid along her wet slit, circling her clit the slipping inside of her.

He was amazed as he watched her, loving each and every move, every reaction she had. Memorizing them as a precious moment that he would treasure forever.

He sat in awe, watching as his fingers moved softly between her legs. Lazily going back and forth between her opening and her clit, she never broke eye contact with him. Not even when he felt her tighten and she cried out in pleasure as she came.

He stood up and silently started to remove his clothes. She breathes heavily watching him with hungry eyes.

She turned then rolling onto her stomach. Spreading her legs as widely as her cast would allow as she settled on her stomach. He crawled into the bed, on top of her, in between her legs. His arm went under her body around her waist his fingers splaying on her soft stomach. His lips went down to neck, and he pressed a kiss to her neck as he spoke for the first time since she woke.

"I love you so damn much...Marry me." He could barely speak his voice caught up in emotion.

She turned her head back and kissed his lips "Yes." She said softly he breath coming out in a gasp as he entered her slowly. "I love you to, yes." She said again and again.

He smiled into her neck, choking back the lump in his throat as he started to thrust slowly in to her.

Propping up his weight on his forearm, he used his other hand to slowly rubbed her back as he moved in and out of her. Her cheek pressed to the pillow she watched him. A burning heat in her gaze, her soft groans making him come close to breaking the tenuous grasp he had on his control. There would be time for that now. Time to pound into her, to love her in every way possible, but he was slow. Gentle. She was recovering but still stiff.

She started writhing on the bed underneath him. Gasping and moaning soft little whimpers as her core seemed to only tighten around him. Soon he felt her walls closing in on him even more, she cried out coming for the second time as he joined her holding her body closely as he lifted her practically off the bed.

Later as they caught their breath, he panted in her ear "You ok?"

She smiled as she kissed him "Perfect."

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She'd fallen back asleep or he thought she had when his phone buzzed on the side table that he had a text. Curious he grabbed his phone his face flaming when he saw the thumbs up and winking emoji from Merle. He typed the word asshole then hit send. Snuggling back down with her she murmured "What was that?"

"Nothing." He said with a grin "Just Merle reminding me I gotta sound proof these walls."

Xxxxxxx

End


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